Mei-Ru picked us up at 8:30 in the lobby (we were half an hour early) and we headed to FengYuan, carrying bags of presents and still rather anxious. Well, except J, who wasn’t entirely sure what was going on – I think he’s heard about D for so long he’d started thinking of him as imaginary, like the dragons or pirates. He fell asleep – announced that he’d take a nap because then it would be faster.
He was so very quiet. She told us that that is how he reacts when he is uncertain or upset – he gets quiet and doesn’t interact very much. And it must have been overwhelming to have all four of us plus Samantha and Mei-Ru suddenly stuffed into his living room, shaking stuffed animals at him. J showed him each and every thing we’d brought – the stuffed dog, little lion, ball, noisy truck, and the no-spill drinking cups. It was the cups that broke the ice a little. He liked to screw
We all trooped out to the car, and he transferred to Roni’s lap without an trauma, but was again very quiet, and extremely vigilant, watching every move any of us made with big eyes. There were a couple of baby store stops for formula (why is a 2 ½ year old still on formula?) and diapers and a little backpack. Then we were on our way back to Taipei, just a couple hours after we arrived.
We unfortunately didn’t get to meet his birthmother, which I’m sad about. Or J’s. We don’t really know why, as the agency maintains a lot of privacy about the birth families. So we left our packages and the book I’d made of J’s first year with us and TWCA will get them to the birth mothers.
On the ride back, we practiced D’s Taiwanese name, which we’ve been doing for months, without noticeable effect. The “Bo” syllable gives us trouble. There are Os and As and some sort of Rs in there, and all three adults pronounce it slightly differently and Mei-Ru was quite amused by most of them. We persist, and seem to be showing some improvement. Highly embarrassing not to be able to pronounce your own son’s name. We’d listened to the videos over and over again at home, trying to get it. I guess it is like the Hebrew R or CH - if you don’t grow up with it, it will never come easily.
We stopped for lunch at a freeway food court where we relearned the difficulties of feeding a toddler from chopsticks, and J indignantly told me that D stole his chicken right off his plate and now “his germs got on my germs and the germs are mixed and that’s not good!” D devoured the meal, really, which was great to see. (Roni, on the other hand, did not like the flavor of his “thin
Back at the hotel, I tried to get him to take a nap but he was too vigilant, even with his head nodding. So we all went to play in the little park behind the hotel, which was a big success. He and J raced/toddled up and down the slides and across the climbing bridge and then just raced around in general. D it seems is rather fearless, and we’re going to have to watch him like a hawk. He was
J’s showing some signs of sibling rivalry already. He protested mightily leaving me with D when Roni took him off to Starbucks so I could try to get D to take a nap. And when D stumbles and falls down, J falls down right away so we can help him up too. But he’s also bringing toys and water bottles to D and talking about “my brother” a lot in approving tones, so we’ll hope that that side wins the majority of the time.
Getting D ready for bed was peaceful, but then he wouldn’t lie down for anything. J was completely unconscious but D just sat there, staring, resisting our efforts to coax his head onto the pillow. He was so obviously exhausted, and worried again, and he wasn’t going to relax enough to sleep. We dozed a little, though Roni and I tried to stay awake, but every time I’d look at him, he was still staring out at the room. It was heartbreaking! Finally I got him to sit on my lap and held his head against me - he fell asleep sitting up and I was able to lie him down and he was out for the night. So little to have to be so worried – we’ve shaken his whole world.
It has been a very different experience from our first day with J, and I have to say that I prefer the version where our new son is not vomiting noodles due to his extreme hysteria, but it is also clear that this isn’t easy for little D, and as much as we try to make our family a happy place for him, he’s going to need lots of time and love. But his little smiles give me a good feeling about the long term.
Hurray! Hurray!
oh yea Johnna and Ronni and J.... Yea congrats. I am soososososo happy that all four of you guys are together at last. It soumds like D is handling this well, and within his own way. It must be tough for a little guy to leave what he knows. But he will soon find out how womderful you guys are. CONGRATS!!!!
ReplyDeletelol
Lisa
Johnna, congratulations on becoming a family of 4!!! The photos of D's smiles and the two brothers together are wonderful! I hope that D's transition is a smooth one and that everyone continues to get sleep. Enjoy the rest of your time in Taiwan!
ReplyDeleteChing
Johnna & Roni - Congratulations on your wonderful family of four!!! I love the picture of D & J sitting on the floor together.
ReplyDeleteOf course it is heartbreaking to hear that D was scared to go to sleep. Hopefully, each day will get better and he will trust a little more. We all know each child grieves in their own way; quiet and cautious is ok. :-)
Enjoy the rest of your time in Taiwan & getting to know each other. So, so great to know D is finally with you!!!
We are so excited and happy for you! It is great that D has a big brother to help him with the transition. They are very cute together! When are you coming home?
ReplyDeleteRonny & Johnna - Congratulations from Isreal.
ReplyDeleteThe pictures are greats, you look so cute.
It's understandable that D is in shock, but it will get better.
At least it's was easier that with J,that's good.
Have a gear time & post more sroties & pictures.
P.S.
Johnna - now you have 3 guys, I just want one!
YEAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I have more tinker toys to add to your collection. And Joey's monkey. And some clothes I've been meaning to give you for months. When you guys are ready for visitors, just sound the call.
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteRonny & Johnna - Congratulations from Isreal.
I send you an e-mail to Roni's mail saying everything.
all the best & more pictures.
L Tova
Wow, so happy for you guys! Congrats on your D day! I LOVED reading every little detail about J and D interacting! They sound sooo cute together, even the little sib rivalry. Poor little D - I hope that he is able to be more at ease with each passing day. I'm sure his brother will help him with that!
ReplyDeletejen in nj (JOH)
Congratulations on your happy D-Day!!! D and J are both such handsome little boys!
ReplyDeleteBest Wishes from Germany,
Christina
I am so excited for you guys-what fun to have the two boys together and a challenge as well!
ReplyDeleteSara